Choose Joy

I have never had an easy semester of college. Never. Mentally, emotionally, physically...college has just been a struggle. Let me give you a quick run down...

Semester 1- First college semester. In Florida. 16 hours away from home. Who knew I was going to get so homesick? Turns out I don't love to be far away from my family! It was a great time, and I met my best friend. But, still a challenge..throw in the fact that I started working a campus job that I HATED..I cried everyday. Yeah..true story.

Semester 2- Second semester of freshman year. Trying to get into the nursing program. Trying to get all A's...or at least pass O Chem! Overall, not a bad semester. I did step on my phone and broke it, causing me to be without a phone for a week. Sad, but you really do use your phone for everything! 

Semester 3- First semester of sophomore year! Back at PCC, and in the nursing program! (Which was definitely a cause of stress!!) Sadly, I struggled finding friends in the program, because the ones I had been friends with didn't make it in or changed their majors! Also that year, my best friend didn't come back. Now that was hard..

Semester 4- Second semester of sophomore year. I hated it there. I struggled with my classes so much! It was just a bad semester..

Semester 5- Transferred to Liberty University. Best decision ever. Hard decision, though, because I knew NO ONE. Talk about flashback to freshman year! Had to decide if I was still going to pursue nursing or switch my major. Wanted to stick with nursing, but needed a 4.0. I got a 3.8....but an A in chem!

Semester 6- Changed my major. Then felt God telling me that I had given up way to easily...so placed that semester in His hands and applied for the nursing program. Got on the wait list..then got accepted!

Semester 7- Junior year of nursing! By some miracle, all of my sophomore classes from PCC transferred, so I was able to take junior nursing classes. Honestly, it was a blast. I loved it. But there were two classes that were a struggle...They say first semester junior year is the worst..and they aren't lying!

Now, I didn't write all of that to complain. And I didn't write it to tell you what a terrible life I have. I wrote it so that you can get an idea for how I could have felt. And now I'm going to tell you how I really feel... I am currently in my eighth semester of college. Yes, I am a senior. No, I am not graduating. But that's ok.

This semester started out rough. Like, more rough than any other semester..

What I'm about to share isn't going to be the happiest story ever. But it's my current story. And it's where God has me.

I got some not-so-happy news over Christmas break. Turns out I was a couple of points away from passing two classes. It kills me, but the rules are that if that happens, you can't continue in the program. But, there's hope..you can petition! So, petition I did. And my parents and I prayed every night for my future. In my mind, I've faced enough heartache and turmoil where my college education is concerned, and if God really wanted me to succeed, He was going to miraculously let my petition get accepted. He can do miracles, so why not?

I had gone into this semester with the mindset that I would take the rest of my general education courses that I needed and then retake the classes I had failed Fall 2016. Perfect plan. But not God's plan. The Saturday before classes started, I opened the worst email of my life. And read the worst words ever. My petition was not accepted. And I would not be graduating with a BSN. 

In that single moment after reading those words, I think I went through every stage of grieving. Seriously. My mind was racing as I tried to figure out what to do. How could this happen? What had I done to deserve this? I've already been through enough trials..why did I need ANOTHER ONE? All of these thoughts [and more] went through my mind. I had no idea what to do. 

And then, I remembered that I didn't have to do anything. The only thing I could do was trust in God! I'll admit, this is very hard for me. I am a planner, and I want to know the future now! But that's not what God has for me! He just wants me to trust. And, somehow, strangely, I have been at total peace since handing this situation completely to Him!

This semester has, without a doubt, been my worst semester so far. I feel lost..all of my hopes and dreams of the future seemed to shatter in one single moment. All of my nursing student friends are busy, and I never see them. I am taking classes with people that I don't know, who all seem to have their life figured out. I still don't know what the future holds! 

But, this semester has also been the best. Because, in those terrible moments, I am choosing joy. Joy that, although I don't get to see my friends everyday, I do still get to see them! Joy that, although I don't get to do clinical this semester, I will, someday. Joy that I am still planning on going into the medical field, just not as a nurse. Joy that I can still graduate around the time that I was planning on. Joy that, although I don't know anyone in my classes, I can make more friends! Joy that, although the future is scary, God has a plan. And His plan is clearly way bigger than anything I can imagine.

Since that life-changing moment, I have been reading in the book of Job. I can honestly say that, though I have grown up in church and read my Bible every day, I have never actually studied Job in depth. But I am loving what I am learning! 

I wrote this post, not to tell others of my sorrow, but to encourage those who are struggling! It's not easy. Most people don't know what to say to you or how to respond. You probably will cry a little. But just know that God has a plan. And it will be worth it. Ans by choosing joy, you can make the best out of any situation.

XOXO, Nichole

Spain On My Mind

I've been back from Spring Break for 2 days, and I am definitely having withdraws. Now, it was no ordinary Spring Break, and here's why: I went to Spain to serve the Lord. And what I experienced there was more amazing than anything I could have experienced at the beach.

In the next few posts, I plan on going day by day and writing about everything in detail. Unfortunately, I don't have the time for that now. Nope..as soon as we got off the plane in DC, it was back to reality. Back to school and classes and tests, quizzes, and projects. I also seem to have acquired some kind of cold or sinus infection, which makes jet lag even less fun. And I should be studying for my Spanish class right now, but instead I'm getting distracted on my computer...

I can't wait to share everything with you guys! God truly worked in my life in an amazing way. My eyes were opened to a different religion, one I never would have given a second thought about before. I built relationships with people that I never knew existed. I learned to love the teenage girls in Leganes, and they will forever be in my heart. I learned how to have a stronger prayer life. I discovered friendships that I hope to keep forever, and got to know people on my team like I wouldn't have thought possible. We became a family. And it was amazing.

But, sadly, that's all I can share for now. Keep a lookout, though, because I hope to start posting each day soon! And I can't wait for you to experience my trip with me through words and pictures.

XOXO, Nichole

Long Time No See..

I'm alive! No.. Really. I can't believe how long it's been since I posted something. Like, years. Ok, actually just about a month and a half, but I feel like it's been forever! You know what they say about college..you have no life. Between classes, homework, driving home some weekends, required tutoring, and everything in between, I'm lucky to get any sleep! But, I love it. Really. I love the school atmosphere. Can't say I love my classes..but I love school. 

What has happened in my life lately, you may ask? Well, I suppose I will fill you in.

1) I started a Facebook page for my cupcakes. Yes. About time, right? Of course, it hasn't been a huge hit. I really should put up posters or something to get the word out. But, I have had 2 people put orders in, and hopefully once I REALLY start advertising, word will travel fast. I mean, I do make some pretty amazing cupcakes, if I do say so myself. Are you on Facebook? Check it out! Elizabeth Maree Cupcakes. Soon I'll have business cards. Moving up. ;)

2)  I have allergies. I know. Me. The healthiest child in my family. Allergies. I don't even know what to say! But, it's quite obvious when you have a foggy head, pounding headache, scratchy throat, stuffy nose, and stuffy ears (can ears get stuffy? not sure..but you know what I mean..) . Yeah, all of those things happened to me from Monday-Wednesday, and then I went home for Fall Break and viola! No more stuffiness. Then, BAM, come back from Fall Break and it all starts up again. Hmm..fishy. Thankfully there's this amazing stuff called Claritin that clears away those nasty things called allergies! Since I'm a poor college student, I went with generic Claritin. But, you know..it's the same thing. 

3) I AM GOING TO SPAIN!! Yep! So excited! We have these things called Global Teams here at school, and we take trips to different countries. I applied for the Spain Global Team and, well, I got accepted. The hard part will be raising the support, but I'm working on that. Hopefully this weekend I can REALLY start working on it, and not just thinking about working on it. But, brainstorming is the first part, right? We will be going during Spring Break, and it is going to be amazing!

4) Speaking of Spain, Spanish is definitely my favorite class. I am in no way speaking smoothly or expertly, but I am really enjoying the little achievements. One step closer to be fluent! Yippee! 

5) I joined an 8 week #FriskyFall challenge with #TIU. Yep, I would consider myself a #TIUgirl. (Don't you just love all of the hashtagging going on..) Anyways, it's a fitness challenge to work out daily. Some days I am better at it than others. I joined because I just wasn't making myself get up and go running like I wanted to. I used to be SO GREAT at waking up and running, but lately I've lost my love of running. Well, not lost..it's just been hiding beneath my super lazy self. However, this fitness challenge really helped! I wanted to lose weight, but I wouldn't say that happened..however, I have definitely gotten stronger! The first couple of weeks, I really struggled through some of the exercises. I wouldn't say I don't struggle anymore..I definitely still do. But I can do things that I couldn't before. And that makes me feel good. So, I've gotten the working out (for the most part) taken care of. Now I really just need to work on the healthy eating. I usually try to be healthy. But sometimes, that brownie is just begging to be eaten. Or that pumpkin muffin. Or scone. Or cupcake. You get the picture. I'm a foodie. I major foodie. And I especially love pretty food. But I really need to learn to control myself. Anyways, I guess I will stop lecturing myself on here. I'm sure you're not really interested or amused. Maybe you're amused. ... BOTTOM LINE: Next 8 week challenge from #TIU I will be focusing on working out AND eating healthier. And I just wrote that on the internet. So now you guys can hold me accountable. 

Well, I believe you guys are mostly caught up on my pathetically boring and unentertaining life. Maybe it will get more adventurous soon. Here's to hoping! Now excuse me while I go play "good student" and read an article for BWVW 101. Until next time..

XOXO, Nichole

Coffeeshops Etc.

     Currently sitting in this random bakery (which is really more like a deli) somewhere in Lynchburg. I still depend on my GPS to get me places, because I honestly have no idea where everything is! I WAS at this adorable coffeeshop, The Muse, but for some odd reason my laptop wouldn't connect to the internet. And that was a problem. So my roommates and I walked down the street to this weird bakery. The raspberry scone is yummy. The atmosphere is not.

     Well, here we are, the middle of the third week! Time is pretty much flying, but dragging at the same time. There are still so many things to get used to. Liberty University is SO much different than Pensacola Christian College. For one, you can actually acknowledge guys outside of campus. And holding hands? Not a problem. Yeah, shocker. Really, I keep having to tell myself not to be surprised. haha 

     I am not as homesick as the past two weeks, so that's nice. The homesickness really caught me by surprise. I mean, really, I spent TWO MONTHS away from my family. In a different country. Yeah. But, I suppose it wasn't as bad considering I was with my SECOND family. Anyways, I said all that to say the homesickness is better. Phew.

Surprised my sister for her birthday!

     Classes aren't too bad. Finally getting back into the swing of things. My chem class pretty much feels like a joke. I keep having to remind myself that we've started back at the basics...the last time I was in chem class, it was Organic and Biochem. Talk about a challenge. But, back to CHEM 107. Yeah. Not cool to have to take general chem again. Not at all. But, it is what it is, right?

     Favorite class so far? Conversational Spanish. Yes. I. Love. It. I had my first speaking test the other day..it was rough, I definitely wasn't fluid, but it was awesome. Painful (sorta) but awesome! I love learning how to say things and just thinking about the Hispanic culture and everything I can do when I (finally) can speak better. I keep thinking back to Nicaragua and wishing I had soaked in more. And missing it. Boy do I miss being there.

     Least favorite class? Not chem. Close, but not quite. My least favorite class would, without a doubt, be statistics. Hate it. So much. Like, what's the point? I'm an algebra girl. Not a statistics girl. No way. Ew.

Vanilla with Lemon Whipped Buttercream

     Well, I have been so busy lately, I haven't had a chance to even think about posting my recent cupcakes! For one, I got a new computer! Yay! Say hello to my new 13 inch MacBook Air! Haven't named him yet, but love him so far! As for cupcakes...I made Red Velvet Oreo & Vanilla with Lemon Whipped Buttercream for Labor Day. Delish. One of these days I will get around to actually posting recipes...

Red Velvet Oreo

     So, how's life you may ask? Aside from school and stuff? Still no job here in Lynchburg. Not cool. But, that will come. I hope. All in God's timing. It's so funny how much I feel I've learned, just in the past month. Clearly God wants me here. I can see it in everything. And it's an amazing feeling. Very challenging, because when you're on the right path, things don't always go according to your plan. But, God has had His hand in everything that's happened. I can just tell. It's hard to explain..just trust me on this. And I know that not everything that happens is a "sign from God". I realize that's not how He works. But, I'm starting to take things day by day, and focus on what He has put into each day. Maybe a person He's placed in my life. Maybe someone that will be there for me, or someone I can be there for. Maybe a challenge, such as taking chem AGAIN. Maybe letting me focus on school for the first few weeks instead of a job. Maybe placing me in a prayer group that I really need, or one that really needs me. We never truly know. It's just our job to live our lives for Him. Every day.

     Sadly, I haven't been running like I planned. Like, at all. I need to. Tomorrow, I aim to get my sad, tired butt out of bed and off to run. Maybe just a mile. Maybe two. Actually, no...definitely only one. Baby steps. 

     Anyways, maybe I should stop procrastinating and work on some Spanish vocab before bed. I do, after all, want to be fluent. ;) And need to wake up at 6:30 AM. Darn.

XOXO, 
     Nicky