Hello, 2017

Wow. I never thought I wold make it through this past year. And yet, while I sit here thinking on this past year and all of the changes and trials it brought, I find myself thanking God for everything He sent me. 

But, why? 

The past few months, I have read status after status of reasons why 2016 has been the worst year ever. Every person on my Facebook page seems to have some reason why they hated this year and cannot wait for the next one. And, believe me, I can totally relate.  This year did not start out good for me. Actually..2015 did not end well. I failed two classes and had to change my future plans. Again. So, I was determined to make 2016 my best year yet. 

But it did not start that way. It started with disappointment and failure and a feeling of worthlessness. 

And, somewhere in the midst of all of this heartache, I discovered something. I was trying to make it my best year. But I was not allowing God to help.

That was a hard realization to come to. It is so hard for me to hand over control. I like to be independent. I like to figure things out. I like to be in charge. But, I can't. It's not my job. And, once I realized that I really can't control everything, 2016 became so much better. 

God gave me a new dream and new goals. And, when I least expected it, he opened doors for me to be able to continue my dream of becoming a nurse.

He sent new, amazing friends into my life and renewed old friendships that have turned into major blessings.

He taught me perseverance and endurance. To never give up. And to let go, and let God.

I went to Nicaragua again. And fell in love with the country. Again.

I ran a marathon.

I worked at a children's Bible camp for the second summer and had an amazing, exhausting, wonderful time.

I retook the 2 classes I thought ended my chances of becoming a nurse. And I passed. With a B in both classes.

But, I did not do these things on my own. I did them with God by my side. It took me awhile. Several months. Many tears. But I did it. HE did it. And, while those accomplishments certainly do not mean 2016 was a year without hardships, it shows the positive things as well. Yes, 2016 was a hard year. Yes, there were times when I hated it and felt hopeless. But, that does not mean that 2016 was the worst year of my life. Nope. If anything, 2016 taught me to be a better person. 2016 made me stronger. And 2016 taught me to never ever give up. 

Dear reader, I want to leave you with these wonderful words from Jesus:

Isaiah 43: 1-3 ..."Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God"...

Whether 2016 was YOUR year, or whether you want to forget it ever happened.. Never forget that God has a plan for you. It may be a wonderful, messy plan. But He created it just for you. And, when we remember that, we can almost always guarantee our best year. Every year. 

H A P P Y N E W Y E A R 

XOXO, Nichole

Choose Joy

I have never had an easy semester of college. Never. Mentally, emotionally, physically...college has just been a struggle. Let me give you a quick run down...

Semester 1- First college semester. In Florida. 16 hours away from home. Who knew I was going to get so homesick? Turns out I don't love to be far away from my family! It was a great time, and I met my best friend. But, still a challenge..throw in the fact that I started working a campus job that I HATED..I cried everyday. Yeah..true story.

Semester 2- Second semester of freshman year. Trying to get into the nursing program. Trying to get all A's...or at least pass O Chem! Overall, not a bad semester. I did step on my phone and broke it, causing me to be without a phone for a week. Sad, but you really do use your phone for everything! 

Semester 3- First semester of sophomore year! Back at PCC, and in the nursing program! (Which was definitely a cause of stress!!) Sadly, I struggled finding friends in the program, because the ones I had been friends with didn't make it in or changed their majors! Also that year, my best friend didn't come back. Now that was hard..

Semester 4- Second semester of sophomore year. I hated it there. I struggled with my classes so much! It was just a bad semester..

Semester 5- Transferred to Liberty University. Best decision ever. Hard decision, though, because I knew NO ONE. Talk about flashback to freshman year! Had to decide if I was still going to pursue nursing or switch my major. Wanted to stick with nursing, but needed a 4.0. I got a 3.8....but an A in chem!

Semester 6- Changed my major. Then felt God telling me that I had given up way to easily...so placed that semester in His hands and applied for the nursing program. Got on the wait list..then got accepted!

Semester 7- Junior year of nursing! By some miracle, all of my sophomore classes from PCC transferred, so I was able to take junior nursing classes. Honestly, it was a blast. I loved it. But there were two classes that were a struggle...They say first semester junior year is the worst..and they aren't lying!

Now, I didn't write all of that to complain. And I didn't write it to tell you what a terrible life I have. I wrote it so that you can get an idea for how I could have felt. And now I'm going to tell you how I really feel... I am currently in my eighth semester of college. Yes, I am a senior. No, I am not graduating. But that's ok.

This semester started out rough. Like, more rough than any other semester..

What I'm about to share isn't going to be the happiest story ever. But it's my current story. And it's where God has me.

I got some not-so-happy news over Christmas break. Turns out I was a couple of points away from passing two classes. It kills me, but the rules are that if that happens, you can't continue in the program. But, there's hope..you can petition! So, petition I did. And my parents and I prayed every night for my future. In my mind, I've faced enough heartache and turmoil where my college education is concerned, and if God really wanted me to succeed, He was going to miraculously let my petition get accepted. He can do miracles, so why not?

I had gone into this semester with the mindset that I would take the rest of my general education courses that I needed and then retake the classes I had failed Fall 2016. Perfect plan. But not God's plan. The Saturday before classes started, I opened the worst email of my life. And read the worst words ever. My petition was not accepted. And I would not be graduating with a BSN. 

In that single moment after reading those words, I think I went through every stage of grieving. Seriously. My mind was racing as I tried to figure out what to do. How could this happen? What had I done to deserve this? I've already been through enough trials..why did I need ANOTHER ONE? All of these thoughts [and more] went through my mind. I had no idea what to do. 

And then, I remembered that I didn't have to do anything. The only thing I could do was trust in God! I'll admit, this is very hard for me. I am a planner, and I want to know the future now! But that's not what God has for me! He just wants me to trust. And, somehow, strangely, I have been at total peace since handing this situation completely to Him!

This semester has, without a doubt, been my worst semester so far. I feel lost..all of my hopes and dreams of the future seemed to shatter in one single moment. All of my nursing student friends are busy, and I never see them. I am taking classes with people that I don't know, who all seem to have their life figured out. I still don't know what the future holds! 

But, this semester has also been the best. Because, in those terrible moments, I am choosing joy. Joy that, although I don't get to see my friends everyday, I do still get to see them! Joy that, although I don't get to do clinical this semester, I will, someday. Joy that I am still planning on going into the medical field, just not as a nurse. Joy that I can still graduate around the time that I was planning on. Joy that, although I don't know anyone in my classes, I can make more friends! Joy that, although the future is scary, God has a plan. And His plan is clearly way bigger than anything I can imagine.

Since that life-changing moment, I have been reading in the book of Job. I can honestly say that, though I have grown up in church and read my Bible every day, I have never actually studied Job in depth. But I am loving what I am learning! 

I wrote this post, not to tell others of my sorrow, but to encourage those who are struggling! It's not easy. Most people don't know what to say to you or how to respond. You probably will cry a little. But just know that God has a plan. And it will be worth it. Ans by choosing joy, you can make the best out of any situation.

XOXO, Nichole

Another Flashback

Wow. Two blog posts in one month. I am on a role. But, seriously...being a nursing student, keeping up with schoolwork, putting in community service hours [which we're required to do to graduate], and working is hard! Nursing students don't get enough credit..just sayin'. But, anyways, it's test day, and I typically don't do much the night of a test. Why, you ask? Because I just spent almost a whole week studying my butt off for the test I took earlier today. And I'm brain dead. And I need something fun. So, catching up on blogging it is! And movies. I'm also watching Cinderella. Probably my absolute most favorite thing to come out on dvd lately. I can't help it. I'm a sucker for fairy tales. 

Anyways, on to the real reason for writing today: another flashback to Spain. I only have a few journal entries left, but I still want to share!

Tuesday, March 10, 2015 - Leganes, Madrid

Spending time in God's Word

 Today we arrived at our location at 0930. A few of us were able to sit in on an intermediate/beginner Spanish class. It was great to get to learn that way! At around 1130, one of the men shared his testimony. It was amazing to hear how God was working in his life, even when he didn't know! Being here has really opened my eyes to the north African and Moroccan religion. I never thought I would have been so drawn to it, but I really am! These people have captured my heart, and I want to pray for them as much as I can! Especially S, as he goes back to Morocco and witnesses to his family.

Eating lunch in the sun

At 1430, we ate Dominoes pizza. We also worked on our lesson for the day. My group had a four-year-old class at 1730. They were brilliant! Most of them knew English words for colors and numbers, and we also played duck-duck-goose for 30-45 minutes! Between classes, we started organizing all craft supplies and teaching materials. At 1930, the youth came. The 2 teenage girls from Monday (H & I) that came yesterday brought five other girls! We had a lot of fun, playing ninja and around-the-world with them. My heart is already so full of love for them! I pray that we can be great influences, and that others will come along and witness. I want for them so badly to know Christ!

Adventures with the team

Well, that's enough for today. I still think my heart goes out to those children we taught and spent time with. I don't think God is calling me to Spain, but he definitely brought me there for a reason. To open my eyes. And show me others to pray for.

Now, to go enjoy the rest of the fairy tale on the tv.

XOXO, Nichole

Flashback to Spain

I'm sitting here at my kitchen table with a delicious cup of raspberry chocolate truffle coffee. Trying to pretend that it feels like fall outside, since it is, in fact, September. Which is kinda fall...although not technically. Anyways, I should be focusing on the task in front of me, which is to tackle my first patient profile/care plan/pathophysiology paper that is due tomorrow at midnight 11:59 PM. Instead, I keep thinking about the fact that I kept telling myself I would write about my trip to Spain. And only got one post done. So, here I am...procrastinating, and writing about that amazing trip. It shouldn't take too long, right?

Monday, March 9, 2015 - Leganes-Madrid, Spain 

It has been completely different than I thought. And yet, somehow, it's exactly how I thought it would be. We aren't technically in the city of Madrid, which I thought we would be. We're more on the outskirts of the city, like suburbs. Yesterday, we got to go into the city, which I absolutely loved!

Cimber, one of the leaders, going to church

Let's face it, I am a city girl. Some of my all time favorite places are cities. So, yeah, I love Madrid. We walked around for hours, took pictures, ate traditional Moroccan food and gelato.

Moroccan food

Gelato

 And let's not forget about the delicious Starbucks! Seriously, I think I may be addicted to cappuccinos now...

Starbucks in Spain

 It was an amazing day. But, the real magic happened today.

We started today by meeting at 9:30 AM to head to the mission building. Once there, we did some debriefing, had some coffee (my fav!), and prayed. One thing I have learned is that prayer is SO very important in missions! 

At around 11:00, Eva had some ladies come for aerobics. I think it is absolutely amazing how she can witness and build relationships through exercise! At 12:30, the team had our second Arabic lesson. We learned colors, objects, fruits & veggies, and some phrases [fast forward to September, and I don't remember anything..]. I honestly wasn't that interested in learning at first, but I actually really liked it! 

We ate lunch around 2 and started preparing for the night. At 5:15, my group (Deya, Collin, and myself) started teaching six 4th graders. It was great! We definitely had challenges, but I can't wait to see them again! If anything, God has just added six new names to my prayer list! These children need Jesus! 

At 8:15, it was time for the youth. We weren't sure if anyone would come, but two girls showed up. Deya, Emily, Kristen, Rachel, and I spent an hour spending time with them, playing games, and teaching them English. They were the sweetest girls ever!

I am so excited to see them for the next four nights! I especially am praying for them. At one point, they asked about America, culture, and religious freedom. They were amazed that all of us (five girls) had a choice in life and beliefs! It breaks my heart how much I take for granted! I feel like God has put them in my life (however brief that may be) for a reason. I will be praying for them constantly. I already feel like they have a little piece of my heart. 

I am so excited to see what God has for me and the rest of the team!

11:30, pizza for dinner. Yummy.

Well, I guess that's that. I finished one more entry about Spain. Now, time to start procrastinating, and time to start tackling that paper due tomorrow. At least there's coffee...

XOXO, Nichole

Saturday, March 7, 2015

After snow, ice, delays, a very long flight, and missing our second flight, we finally made it to Spain! Boy, what an adventure already! Thursday afternoon, we headed to the airport. Our flight wasn't scheduled to leave until 6:50 pm, but we had to check out of the hotel in the afternoon, so we spent some time at the airport. We made it pretty quickly through security...they didn't even make us take off our shoes, which was nice! After sitting at our gate for a few hours, they announced that we would be boarding about 45 minutes late. That's ok..we could still totally make our next flight! It was snowing outside, but other flights were still taking off..

We finally boarded our plane. I was all the way in the back. I had never been on a plane so huge..it was pretty cool. At least, at first it was cool...About 2 hours later, we were still sitting on the tarmac. Not so cool anymore. We finally took off, and I was so happy to be in the air. I barely slept at all on the flight..airplanes are not easy to sleep on. Plus, it was SO turbulent! 

We finally landed in France at around 10 am Europe time. We got on another flight to Spain pretty easily, which was totally a God thing. Then we went through customs and had a couple of hours to chill. I drank my first European cappuccino, which was heavenly. 

I also ate some kind of croissant with chocolate in the middle..also amazing. Then we went in search of some French macarons. 

Can I describe them as heavenly, too? Because they totally were.

We finally boarded our plane for SPAIN! As we were flying away, I saw the Eiffel Tower from the window. Of course it looked super tiny..but maybe one day I will see it for real.

We landed in Spain completely exhausted. You know that thing, jet lag? Yeah, totally real. Thank goodness we were in Europe, which, I discovered, has some pretty amazing coffee.

After meeting up with our host, we headed to the organization we would be working with for the next week. We took a tour of the building, had some dinner, and headed to our hotel for some MUCH needed sleep. Oh, did I mention that we took the metro? Yeah, every bit as confusing as you think..

This morning, we got to sleep in a little and woke up to gorgeous sunshine. After some delicious breakfast,we took the bus (all by ourselves) to meet Dan and Eva. We got to see a little bit more of the building, and did some work and preparation for the coming week.

For lunch, we ate at this little bar/cafe down the street. We had salad, bread, and paella (top left corner in photo). Paella is basically this delicious conglomeration of rice and seafood. Emphasis on delicious! Seriously. For dinner, we got to experience some flamenco music and tons of traditional foods, such as: Spanish tortilla, chorizo, and pig ears. Yeah, pig ears. Kinda like chewy bacon.

It was a wonderful and exhausting day. (Have I mentioned that dinner is at 9:30 pm usually?) Tomorrow we will be heading to church in the city of Madrid. We also get to experience some Moroccan culture! Can't wait for that!

Thursday, March 5, 2015

Sheraton Hotel
Washington, D.C.

Here I sit, in a super nice hotel room, drinking coffee and reading my Bible. Of course my mind is wandering...we leave for the airport at 1. Our flight to France leaves at 6:50 pm. And we'll be in Spain by 9 am tomorrow! Although, when I say 9 am, I mean Europe time...which is actually 3 am here in America. So that should be interesting. I like my sleep, so not sure how tomorrow is going to go! 

Coffee. Lots of coffee. Which I am totally ok with. :)

So, Spain, huh? I can't believe it's finally here! I am probably equal parts excited and nervous. I love traveling, and for some reason have always had a love for Spain! It's always been a dream to go there, and the fact that it's for missions just makes it so much better! Did I see myself working with Muslims? Certainly not. But I guess just because God gave me a passion for Spain doesn't mean I have to work with Spaniards. Let's face it, God has a crazy way of planning things out.

With all of the anticipation for this trip, I've been thinking more and more about my relationship with God. Lately, this thing with ISIS has been really getting to me. But, ISIS isn't the only thing persecuting Christians. Christians are persecuted everywhere! It even happens in America (although it's more verbal than anything else). And it makes me think: if I was being persecuted, would I be able to still stand by my Savior's side?

It's a scary thought...one I prefer not to think about. But it is pretty thought provoking. I've spent my whole life in a good Christian environment. Never has anyone held a gun to my head and asked me if I believed in God. Never have I been tortured so much that you can barely recognize me [To be honest, I don't even go up to random people and talk to them about god. And I should. Really. I live in America. I have the freedom] And you know what? I should be experiencing that! Do I want to? No. Do I think I could get through it? No. But, God made the ultimate sacrifice for me. He died. For me. So I should be willing to go through anything for him!

Anyways, just a thought. But, in light of that, please keep my team in prayer. We should be safe, but we are in a different country...

XOXO, Nichole

Spain On My Mind

I've been back from Spring Break for 2 days, and I am definitely having withdraws. Now, it was no ordinary Spring Break, and here's why: I went to Spain to serve the Lord. And what I experienced there was more amazing than anything I could have experienced at the beach.

In the next few posts, I plan on going day by day and writing about everything in detail. Unfortunately, I don't have the time for that now. Nope..as soon as we got off the plane in DC, it was back to reality. Back to school and classes and tests, quizzes, and projects. I also seem to have acquired some kind of cold or sinus infection, which makes jet lag even less fun. And I should be studying for my Spanish class right now, but instead I'm getting distracted on my computer...

I can't wait to share everything with you guys! God truly worked in my life in an amazing way. My eyes were opened to a different religion, one I never would have given a second thought about before. I built relationships with people that I never knew existed. I learned to love the teenage girls in Leganes, and they will forever be in my heart. I learned how to have a stronger prayer life. I discovered friendships that I hope to keep forever, and got to know people on my team like I wouldn't have thought possible. We became a family. And it was amazing.

But, sadly, that's all I can share for now. Keep a lookout, though, because I hope to start posting each day soon! And I can't wait for you to experience my trip with me through words and pictures.

XOXO, Nichole